What kind of sicko gets up at 5:15am when 6:00am would have done just as well? This kid, that's who. Why, I cannot say, except that I just get so anxious that I am not going to wake up in time that I never get to sleep very well at all. It's one trait that I truly can say I wouldn't miss in myself if it suddenly disappeared.
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Conversation I overheard the other night waiting for a bus:
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #1: I couldn't believe how mad he was! And he was all up in my face, like, yelling about you, and I'm all, Dude, I'm not Jason!
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #2: Yeah he totally lost his shit, man, it was unreal.
Young Aspiring Hippie Woman: Wait, so who was that dude?
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #1: This fucking guy Noah, who's all, like bent out of shape.
Young Aspiring Hippie Woman: What was his deal?
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #2: He's just pissed that I threw a brick through his car back window when I was drunk the other night.
Huh. I just wanted to shake them, but I couldn't bear to get too close; they clearly hadn't showered in days.
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I never buy US Magazine and then feel good about it. I bought one yesterday and I'm just not sure why. I actually used to read it all the time and derive glee from it, from reading about celebrity mishaps. But a few months ago, there was some smug cover story about a famous couple splitting up (maybe), and suddenly it just wasn't fun for me anymore. Yeah, they're famous, but they're still people, and heartbreak isn't something I should feel gleeful about. So what, someone famous made a poor decision in who they fell in love with -- I know plenty of non-famous people who do that, and I don't express pleasure when it happens to them. It was like a moment of clarity, a weird moment where I realized my worldview had shifted. Why did I buy it yesterday? It was a weird regression, I suddenly felt like I wanted to wallow in someone else's despair for a half hour. But it was a joyless wallowing, and now I feel like I should like, donate a pint of blood or something to make up for it.
Actually, I just donated blood a couple weeks ago. It was my first time donating in a mobile blood center, instead of at a center or in a school gymnasium. In the trailers, they have several cots that are all kind of facing each other, so you end up being able to see the other people who are donating. So I'm sitting on the cot, the technician does her thing, gets me started on the donation, and I sit there placidly making conversation for a few minutes. Meanwhile, this other lady comes in and gets started up. Well, she sits there looking at me with this like glint in her eye, and she's pumping her hand fairly furiously while her donation is going on. After several minutes, she takes a phone call from her son and berates him for not getting his homework done early enough. She hangs up the phone, looks down at her donation sac and then back at me, then goes "Ha! I'm totally beating you!" Uh, wahhh? I didn't realize this was a contest! I didn't realize the object here was to lose as much blood as quickly as possible here! Geez! So, yeah, she did beat me. The technician finishes her up, and she sits down for the minimum number of minutes, refusing the Lorna Dunes (Christ, that's the whole reason for donating! Oreos and cranberry juice!), and then swoops out of the trailer, with a sort of "See ya, suckas" attitude. I guess no one told her that there's no award for quickest donation. It was thoroughly bizarre.
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4 comments:
Oh nooooooooooooo! The blood donation bit snuck up on me! Before i knew what hit me, I was reading about the blood pumping an feeling woozy. Oh man. Bleh.
Sorry! I tried to stay away from any actual needle description ....
Here's the deal with Ms. Speedy.
She donated blood and refused snacks because she wants to get extra wasted on her glass (bottle, whatever) of wine with dinner tonight. She wants son to finish HW early so he can go out and she can absolve herself of guilt because she's not drinking in front of the kid.
Just a guess.
Along the hippie conversation lines: I witnessed a funny conversation between Amie at Tealuxe and some trustifarian Brown Student that made me laugh my ass off, (LMAO).
This girl walks in and asks Amie for a cup of hot water. For anybody else, Tealuxe sells tea, not coffee, just tea. So Amie says to the girl just a cup of water? Do you have your own tea bag? And the girl says yes. Then Amie says, with her back half turned, that is kind of awesome. And the girl says I am sorry what. And then Amie says I said it is awesome that you would come in here and ask me for a cup and hot water so that you can make your own tea. Don't you think that is kind of rude? And the girl says no, do you? Then Amie says yes I do. Then the trustifarian says well I am broke and can't afford the tea, so I have a tea bag.
At this point, with Amie's day completely ruined, she looks at the girl and says well enjoy your tea. And the brownie, stunned turns and walks away.
Later that day a 25 cent hot water button was installed on their computer system.
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