"the book even of my secret soul" twelfth night: i, iv

So yet again thanks to Katie Schwartz, who pointed me in the direction of The Book Quiz. I took the quiz, and lo and behold, I am my favorite book of all time!!

You're Alice's Adventures in Wonderland!

by Lewis Carroll

After stumbling down the wrong turn in life, you've had your mind opened to a number of strange and curious things. As life grows curiouser and curiouser, you have to ask yourself what's real and what's the picture of illusion. Little is coming to your aid in discerning fantasy from fact, but the line between them is so blurry that it's starting not to matter. Be careful around rabbit holes and those who smile to much, and just avoid hat shops altogether.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I wasn't even "trying" for anything specific, I just answered the questions honestly.

So that was fun.

On another note, today on the bus I overheard the young man next to me berating his baby mama over the phone. She kept hanging up on him, and he would keep calling her back, and if she didn't answer, he would berate her voicemail. Sounded like a custody thing; frankly, a guy who talks the way this guy did ("yeah try that and see how you like winding up in a fucking body bag" -click-) should not have custody of any child. I suppose it's possible that the mom is worse than him, but having listened to him for 15 minutes, I doubt it. So that was a good way to end the work day.

And finally, it seems to me that I got hoodwinked (refer to my previous post). Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel foolish at first, but the fact is that it is just a crying shame that there are enough people out there in this country who actually do think the way that Donnie Davies pretends to think to make me believe so easily in him. The way he looks and talks, and the words he says -- I have seen and heard people who are extremely similar, so it didn't seem like a parody to me. And since he's not really doing anything hyperbolic, since people really do think this way, it's not a very good satire, in my opinion. And I swear it's not just sour grapes -- I just don't find the subject matter to have been dealt with very cleverly. The only clever thing about it is the verisimilitude of the character.

Ok that's all I got for now.

"painting thy outward walls so costly gay?" sonnets: cxlvi

So I was surfing along, checking out some of my usual web haunts, when the Onion's The Hater clued me in to a really .... breathtaking website.

It's called Love God's Way, and if it wasn't so amaturish and hamfisted, it might be something worth getting upset over. But, because they clearly have no fucking clue what they're talking about, it is just funny, and in a way, kind of sad. Basically, it's an organization that helps to "reform" homosexuals, and their shining beacon of hope is ... wait, I want to get this right .... ok, got it -- "Christian Youth expert Donnie Davies." He's a reformed homosexual, you see, and now he's a Christian Youth Expert. Oh, yeah, he also is a Christian rocker, and -- this is exciting -- they have a new music video out for their latest song, called "The Bible Says;" sample lyrics include "God hates a fag .... if you're a fag he hates you too." Nice! I love the Christian generosity in that sentiment. I really encourage you to click around on the site, and especially to hit up their "Safe Bands" and "Gay Bands" lists. You know what, I'll save you the trouble, because there are a couple gems here I want you to spot.

Ok, Safe Bands first (Oh, by the way, Love God's Way indicates that these lists are a "powerful tool" to "let you see some bands and entertainment that is safe for your children." Ok, onward we go): UnderOath, Cyndi Lauper, Falling Up, Flyleaf, THE TURNING [I have no idea why that is in all caps], Disciple, P.O.D, By The Tree, Scott Reed, Michael W. Smith, Jars of Clay, DC Talk, Danielson.

No real surprises there -- most of these are Christian bands. The only real baffler for me was Cyndi Lauper. I'm just sayin' - I have known several very nice gay men who love the Cyndi. But hey, I'm not a Christian Youth Expert.

Ok, here are the Gay Bands, a much longer list, and prefaced by the note that "one of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life is through popular music. Parents should keep careful watch over their children's listening habits, especially in this Internet Age of MP3 piracy." Good job keeping it current, Love God's Way. Ok, here are the Gay Bands, listed as they appear verbatim:

The Spores (endorse suicide), Scissor Sisters, Rufus Wainwright, Merzbau, Ravi Shankar, Wilco, Bjork, Tech N9ne, Ghostface Killah, Bobby Conn, Morton Subotnik, Cole Porter, The String Cheese Incident, Eagles of Death Metal, Polyphonic Spree, The Faint, Interpol, Tegan and Sara, Erasure, Le Tigre, The Gossip, The Doors, Phish, Queen, The Strokes, Sufjan Stevens, Morrissey(?questionable?), The Pet Shop Boys, Metallica, Judas Priest, The Village People, The Secret Handshake, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Man or Astroman, Richard Cheese, Jay-Z, Depeche Mode, Kansas, Ani DiFranco, Fischerspooner, John Mayer, The Indigo Girls, Velvet Underground, Madonna, Elton John, Barry Manilow, Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheridge, Eminmen, Nirvana, Boy George*, The Killers, Lou Reed, Lil' Wayne, Motorhead, Jill Sobule, Wilson Phillips, DMX, Lisa Loeb, Dogstar, Thirty Seconds to Mars, Lil' Kim, kd lang, Frank Sinatra, Hinder, Nickleback, Justus Kohncke, Bob Mould, Clay Aiken, Arcade Fire, Bright Eyes, Corinne Bailey Rae, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Panic at the Disco, Elton John(really gay).

Please note that Morrissey is only "questionably" gay; however, Elton John is so gay that he is listed twice, the second time with the note that he is "really gay," unlike Boy George who only receives an unexplained asterisk.

Oh, at the end of the gay list it says "In Our effort to keep this list up to date we'd appreciate your help. If you know of a band that is Gay or propogating a Gay message please email us so we can update. Donnie is handling this his email is: donniedavies@gmail.com." Then a new paragraph: "The response is overwhelming. You guys know of a lot more Gay Bands than I do. I can't keep up. Hopefully soon we'll have it so you can add them by yourself."

This is such a pathetic website, and honestly, as mad as I get when I hear about "reforming" homosexuals, and hearing hateful lyrics like "God hates a fag," I get more sad when I think about the fact that Donnie Davies is a gay guy who has told himself he is a filthy sinner and is just closing off a part of who he is. Someone got hold of him and told him that, and he believed it. You know, now he believes he's happy, and I guess if he thinks he's happy, he is happy. But the thing about spreading this venomous message to others is what makes it not just sad -- it makes it fairly horrifying. I feel like he needs another intervention.

Anyway, that's about all from here ... oh, did anyone else enjoy the State of the Union as much as I did? I'm talking, of course, about the President's very careful pronounciation of tough words near the beginning of the speech, including one correct "nuclear," which then deteriorated as he felt like he was in the swing of things. By the end it was "Tay-ran," "Bella-roose," and "nuke-yoo-lir," "nuke-yoo-lir," "nuke-yoo-lir." And what was up with the Prez signing all those autographs at the end? The people asking for them had to have been plants, don't you think?

"i have no words" macbeth: v, viii

So, a couple things to get to here. Katie Schwartz asked if I would be posting my thoughts on ye ol' GW's most recent, you know, thing. His speech about his plans for the Iraq situation. Well, I wasn't going to say anything at first, because as you may know, I don't have a TV and I try not to read too many direct quotes from the President because it upsets me too much. I try to glean the basics by reading a variety of news sources, and stay away from actually hearing or reading anything that comes out of GW's mouth. But, upon reflection, I decided this is a kind of pivitol thing, and I really ought to go back and read his speech from Wednesday.

I have to say, I'm left feeling more baffled than ever. I wish the President was right - I wish that sending more troops over and "clearing" areas of terrorists and then "securing" those areas would do the trick, and then everyone could come home and we could be whole as a country. But how long can this truly go on? There's no timeline, even if we're being told that it's a temporary situation. And even if we do succeed in Iraq, there will be another confrontation that comes up after it, and another after that -- there's always going to be people out there wanting to create chaos, because it benefits them. I don't have a coherent alternative plan to what's being proposed ... leaving now will cause chaos too. It just sucks. I wish I had a more vehement opinion, but the fact is I am just bewildered at the state of things, and I honestly sometimes wonder what will become of us, all of us, as a species. Often the answer is "Nothing good." It sounds fucking depressing, and it is, and so I honestly don't know what else to say. There was I time when I would have gone on some kind of tirade, but why? I don't really know what I'm talking about. I just know I fear for the future, and often wonder just how much future we really have.

Sorry to be a downer. I'm not like this all the time, truly. But, Katie, just FYI, this is why I usually don't get into this stuff. It's too fucking depressing, and I don't know what I'm talking about most of the time.

* * *
Onward. Day to day life goes on. And in that vein, just thought I'd put it out there that my favorite person, V., has a new post up on Six Sentences. It's great, so please check it out.

Finally, again, Katie has tagged me on another meme. "The 10 things about meemish that I really don't want to tell you but will because I'm a freak." So here goes.


1. I love karaoke. Anytime someone suggests it, I am down. I'm not great, but I'm not terrible either -- it just is such a blast to get up there and tear it up with "The Humpty Dance."

2. I enjoy artificial flavors. They're a guilty pleasure. There are times when I love nothing more than "cherry" Jello.

3. I still hate to eat my vegetables. Vegetables just don't taste good to me, I'm sorry. I do it, but I hate it.

4. However, I love artichoke and asparagus. They're practically meat-like flavors anyway.

5. I once worked for a medical publishing company. One of the journals that premiered during my time there was a dermatology journal, and the cover on the premiere issue featured a photo of a baby's butt that had a gaping lesion on it. It was a fun job. (bleh). (The story has a happy ending, though - apparently this is not a totally uncommon disorder, and pretty much just keeping it clean allows it to clear itself up. On the inside, there was a photo of the baby like 2 months later, lesion free. Awwwww.)

6. I am the messiest nearly-30-person I know. My house is a shambles, pretty much consistently. I don't even know how it happens. Things just never seem to have a place. And I don't even have that much stuff anymore.

7. I'm still kind of afraid of the dark. Mostly I just don't like the lack of knowledge of what is surrounding me, especially my feet, for some reason.

8. I kind of like the way Red Bull tastes, by itself.

9. If there is something that might be cause for worry, I'll worry about it. "ooh, I mispronounced that guy's name last night, shit, what must he think of me??" It's really stupid.

10. My browser home page is U2.com.

"o brave new world" the tempest: v, i

So I absolutely must have the new iPhone.

Oh, I know, I know, it's $499 - $599; it's an unecessary commodity; it's replacing items I already have.

Did you catch the important letter in that last clause? I'll give you a hint. The letter is "s".

It's replacing itemS I already have.

Holy Mother of God -- this thing is fucking amazing!!!! When I first read the story on it on CNN, my attitude was that, yeah, it's cool, but something I could live without. I mean, I have a phone I like already (I even get complements on it - it's tiny and it slides open), and I am also lucky enough to have an iPod already, and it's only a year old.

But oh my gosh the iPhone is SO AWESOME. Check out the specs on the site, seriously. And, truly, please believe me when I say I am not someone who usually jumps up at every new gadget and must have it. I mean, I like my technology and all, but I try to be reasonable. But this little beauty allows you to talk on the phone, or listen to music, or browse the internet and access email using a real web browser - and there aren't any fucking buttons! It's all touch-screeen, but a new touch-screen technology that disregards unintended motions. Oh, and it has a proximity sensor that tells it when you put the phone to your ear so you don't make erroneous selections with the side of your face while talking. Oh, and also, it has a sensor that tells it when you turn it on its side and flips to landscape view automatically. And check out the new music browsing interface, in which you actually flip through album cover art in the same way you would look at a record collection.

If you have like an hour to spare, check out the video of Steve Jobs introducing it. I intended to watch only a moment of it, but I was sucked in, watching Steve Jobs work his voodoo mojo on the salivating hippie geeks at the MacWorld conference. They could barely contain themselves, and, boy, did Steve know how to work it. The whole thing was a masterpiece. I actually couldn't watch the whole thing - there were too many other people trying to watch the video at the same time and my connection was lost. I'm telling you, this thing is about to blow wide open -- this is the wave of the fricking future. I think that with this invention, we might be able to achieve world peace.


***

In other news, Paris Hilton is a fucking dumbass. Muchos muchos gracias to the lovely and talented Katie Schwartz for being an alert reader of pop culture and making me aware of this fucking gem. It's positively breathtaking on so many levels. If you want to feel good about yourself today for not being a dumbass, this video is sure to do the trick.

"Sun that warms you here" king richard ii: i, iii

"Cats and dogs living together -- mass hysteria!"

That's kind of how it feels up here in the ol' southeast Northeast. There's no way to put it politely (well, that's not true, a better-read person than I might have a more pleasant way of saying this) -- this weather is fucking strange. S-T-R-A-N-G-E.

Actually I just wanted an excuse to put up that scene from "Ghostbusters," because I think of it often in my own little strange mind, and I was able to kind of make it fit here.

But seriously, there are cherry blossoms in bloom here in RI. In January. I'm just saying. Next thing you know, Georgie W. will be admitting he did something wrong. If that happens, I just want to put it out there that you might find me in church next Sunday, making preparations for the End Times.

Whoa - as I wrote that, the sun burst through the clouds for like 15 seconds then went back in. Cue creepy ghost-movie music.