So I was surfing along, checking out some of my usual web haunts, when the Onion's The Hater clued me in to a really .... breathtaking website.
It's called Love God's Way, and if it wasn't so amaturish and hamfisted, it might be something worth getting upset over. But, because they clearly have no fucking clue what they're talking about, it is just funny, and in a way, kind of sad. Basically, it's an organization that helps to "reform" homosexuals, and their shining beacon of hope is ... wait, I want to get this right .... ok, got it -- "Christian Youth expert Donnie Davies." He's a reformed homosexual, you see, and now he's a Christian Youth Expert. Oh, yeah, he also is a Christian rocker, and -- this is exciting -- they have a new music video out for their latest song, called "The Bible Says;" sample lyrics include "God hates a fag .... if you're a fag he hates you too." Nice! I love the Christian generosity in that sentiment. I really encourage you to click around on the site, and especially to hit up their "Safe Bands" and "Gay Bands" lists. You know what, I'll save you the trouble, because there are a couple gems here I want you to spot.
Ok, Safe Bands first (Oh, by the way, Love God's Way indicates that these lists are a "powerful tool" to "let you see some bands and entertainment that is safe for your children." Ok, onward we go): UnderOath, Cyndi Lauper, Falling Up, Flyleaf, THE TURNING [I have no idea why that is in all caps], Disciple, P.O.D, By The Tree, Scott Reed, Michael W. Smith, Jars of Clay, DC Talk, Danielson.
No real surprises there -- most of these are Christian bands. The only real baffler for me was Cyndi Lauper. I'm just sayin' - I have known several very nice gay men who love the Cyndi. But hey, I'm not a Christian Youth Expert.
Ok, here are the Gay Bands, a much longer list, and prefaced by the note that "one of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life is through popular music. Parents should keep careful watch over their children's listening habits, especially in this Internet Age of MP3 piracy." Good job keeping it current, Love God's Way. Ok, here are the Gay Bands, listed as they appear verbatim:
The Spores (endorse suicide), Scissor Sisters, Rufus Wainwright, Merzbau, Ravi Shankar, Wilco, Bjork, Tech N9ne, Ghostface Killah, Bobby Conn, Morton Subotnik, Cole Porter, The String Cheese Incident, Eagles of Death Metal, Polyphonic Spree, The Faint, Interpol, Tegan and Sara, Erasure, Le Tigre, The Gossip, The Doors, Phish, Queen, The Strokes, Sufjan Stevens, Morrissey(?questionable?), The Pet Shop Boys, Metallica, Judas Priest, The Village People, The Secret Handshake, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Man or Astroman, Richard Cheese, Jay-Z, Depeche Mode, Kansas, Ani DiFranco, Fischerspooner, John Mayer, The Indigo Girls, Velvet Underground, Madonna, Elton John, Barry Manilow, Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheridge, Eminmen, Nirvana, Boy George*, The Killers, Lou Reed, Lil' Wayne, Motorhead, Jill Sobule, Wilson Phillips, DMX, Lisa Loeb, Dogstar, Thirty Seconds to Mars, Lil' Kim, kd lang, Frank Sinatra, Hinder, Nickleback, Justus Kohncke, Bob Mould, Clay Aiken, Arcade Fire, Bright Eyes, Corinne Bailey Rae, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Panic at the Disco, Elton John(really gay).
Please note that Morrissey is only "questionably" gay; however, Elton John is so gay that he is listed twice, the second time with the note that he is "really gay," unlike Boy George who only receives an unexplained asterisk.
Oh, at the end of the gay list it says "In Our effort to keep this list up to date we'd appreciate your help. If you know of a band that is Gay or propogating a Gay message please email us so we can update. Donnie is handling this his email is: donniedavies@gmail.com." Then a new paragraph: "The response is overwhelming. You guys know of a lot more Gay Bands than I do. I can't keep up. Hopefully soon we'll have it so you can add them by yourself."
This is such a pathetic website, and honestly, as mad as I get when I hear about "reforming" homosexuals, and hearing hateful lyrics like "God hates a fag," I get more sad when I think about the fact that Donnie Davies is a gay guy who has told himself he is a filthy sinner and is just closing off a part of who he is. Someone got hold of him and told him that, and he believed it. You know, now he believes he's happy, and I guess if he thinks he's happy, he is happy. But the thing about spreading this venomous message to others is what makes it not just sad -- it makes it fairly horrifying. I feel like he needs another intervention.
Anyway, that's about all from here ... oh, did anyone else enjoy the State of the Union as much as I did? I'm talking, of course, about the President's very careful pronounciation of tough words near the beginning of the speech, including one correct "nuclear," which then deteriorated as he felt like he was in the swing of things. By the end it was "Tay-ran," "Bella-roose," and "nuke-yoo-lir," "nuke-yoo-lir," "nuke-yoo-lir." And what was up with the Prez signing all those autographs at the end? The people asking for them had to have been plants, don't you think?
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6 comments:
I think that Donnie doesn't understand that when Frankie says, "I did it my way." He wasn't talking about sex with Sammy.
What happened to hate the sin, love the sinner. What happened to love the neighbor. Compassion. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I get so worked up thinking about what people do in HIS name. Honestly it really makes me mistrust the whole organization.
You've been had my friend, just like everyone in Borat's movie :-)
Simon, that may be, and I certainly did consider it, but if it is all a joke, this guy has too much time on his hands. There's three different websites, plus a myspace page, and while at first I was thinking, this has got to be a joke, but in the end it was almost too earnest. I don't know -- is there a debunking site that you can point to, or is this just your gut instinct?
Nick- I could not help notice that Cole Porter's name was on the list... or is that a group named "Cole Porter"... whic, if it is, they're brilliant and msut be very funny. Yes?
DAAAAA!!!!!!
I love that you wrote so extensively about this! and, I love what you wrote. it's brilliant.
reforming homosexuals is so sad. heartbreaking. I agree with everything you said. it is so very tragic and devastating. what kills me about zealot christianity is the gross intolerance. I cannot believe those lyrics. why are they allowed to be so intolerant? I can't figure it out...
bubbie, I am so linking to this!
That site may be a joke, but this one is not, http://www.exodus-international.org
I also wonder if a scared, confused teen would catch on that it's supposed to be a joke.
I like what you said ex-gay (I loathe that term) organizations.
As for the State of the Union, I cannot watch them live anymore. I wait until the next day to read them on line while my kid is at school. That way I can curse and cry as much as needed.
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