I would really prefer it if the portmanteau-word "ginormous" would disappear completely from the American lexicon. I can't explain why, but it irritates the hell out of me, almost as much as hearing the Austin-Powers-inspired phrase "YEEAH, Baby!" exclaimed by a douchetastic frat-boy. I guess I don't feel as though the word ginormous adds any value or color to the language; in fact, if anything, it feels to me as though it detracts from the language.
I'm sitting at the bar at a tea shop right now, and I am loathe to confess this but I need to get it off my chest -- instead of studying for the last hour an a half as I intended to do when I came in here, I spent it purusing a copy of JANE magazine that someone had left here. That's an hour and a half of my life that will never be restored. I just feel fortunate that I was able to stop myself before delving into the LUCKY magazine that was underneath it. Man, it is like eating M&Ms.
Meanwhile, I am trying to tamp down all the knowlege I already have in my head about tempering chocolate so I can make room for more. As soon as I think I have learned all that I could need to know to succeed in this class, more information is presented. The class is extremely interesting and I find the work supremely gratifying, but it is pretty intense, to say the least.
On the bright side, I feel pretty relaxed today, and am hoping I will have a nice sleep through the night and will wake up tomorrow feeling ready to go.
Well, back to the books.
Showing posts with label media. Show all posts
Showing posts with label media. Show all posts
16 December 2006
"a christmas comedy" love's labour's lost: v, ii
I'm going to come right out and say that I enjoy Christmas. I actually do. But not in like a rabid, "everything must be perfect," lights up all over the house in mid-November kind of way. I just happen to take some pleasure in the traditions. I'm not religious, but I do like religious Christmas carols, as well as the secular songs of the season. The thing about the religious carols is that, because of the fudging done in the days of early christianity by the Romans to ensure that the pagans would get on board with the new state religion, the whole story of Christmas is more or less fictionalized, seeing as Jesus the historical figure was born in the Spring (I seem to remember). And, being of a literary ilk, I can get behind fictionalized history, with a little bit of poetry thrown in. "O little town of Bethlehem how still we see thee lie/Above thy deep and dreamless streets the silent stars go by." That's nice imagery. As a little kid, that line always got me. I like the kind of old timey sound of the music of the song too. This year it is kind of ridiculously warm for December here in the Northeast. Therefore there's a lot of people out, whooping it up, enjoying the warm weather, in recent evenings. Not exactly deep and dreamless streets, but what are ya gonna do.
I think it's kind of funny how all the news outlets have to do some kind of new take on the Christmas thing at this time of year. It can't just be like "And, this month, millions of christians will celebrate Christmas, putting a strain on retail resources and electrical companies alike" kind of reporting. They've gotta find an angle on the historical thing. "The World of the Nativity" is Newsweek's this year. Pretty soon they'll be grasping at straws. "Joseph and Mary: the first Brangelina?"
I also saw a piece on CNN.com about some fucking asshole pastor in Ohio or someplace who's raging on about the "Secular Jihad" that's taking place against the christians. Uh, sir, I'm not sure you understand what the word "jihad" really means. I mean, yes, strictly speaking, it can mean any kind of vigorous struggle for an idea or principle, but - well, for me anyway - using that word creates a connotation that the people who are attacking have a religious conviction. I guess what he's getting at is that idea so many christians have about Secularism being a religion and blah blah they're trying to extinguish our rights to practice religion. I don't think these folks understand that they're the ones who are trying to impose their will on others, and the people who are being subjected to it are just trying to say, hey, I don't care what you believe, just don't use my tax dollars to pay for a nativity scene at the town hall. I guess that is the problem with "knowing" your faith is the right one: you just can't understand why people won't just see it your way. I started reading at a bookstore (I want to pick up a copy and finish it) this book called "Letter to a Christian Nation," by Sam Harris, and at one point he said something that pretty much sums up my thoughts on the matter; basically what he said was, (he's talking to a Christian here) understand that the way you feel about how wrong Muslims and Jews and whoever else are about religion and God, that's the way I view your beliefs. That's the thing, is religious zealots who think they've got it right, I think, a lot of times just think that people really do secretly believe what they believe, but choose to ignore it. When in fact, no, there's some real holes in your argument.
Anyway, I'm not going to go on about this more, I just think it's so strange that christians in some places think they have this right to monopolize the social and economic calendar every December.
That being said. I do like Christmas, as I mentioned before. I think of it as a pagan ritual, more than anything, to kind of ward off the darkness we're being enveloped in, to draw those we care about closer in our hearts, to prepare for the new year. There's a humor writer for the Washington Post named Gene Weingarten, and he was asked how he views Christmas and approached it when his kids were young, since he is culturally Jewish and his wife is not. He said "Christmas is a terrific time and we get a tree and presents and mom makes soup and stuff! Yay, Christmas!"
I mean, soup! Yeah! I can get behind soup. Let's just not get too pushy if someone doesn't, say, care for soup. I can enjoy my soup just fine, even if someone near me chooses to pass. No problem. I don't need to feel attacked, ya know?
I think it's kind of funny how all the news outlets have to do some kind of new take on the Christmas thing at this time of year. It can't just be like "And, this month, millions of christians will celebrate Christmas, putting a strain on retail resources and electrical companies alike" kind of reporting. They've gotta find an angle on the historical thing. "The World of the Nativity" is Newsweek's this year. Pretty soon they'll be grasping at straws. "Joseph and Mary: the first Brangelina?"
I also saw a piece on CNN.com about some fucking asshole pastor in Ohio or someplace who's raging on about the "Secular Jihad" that's taking place against the christians. Uh, sir, I'm not sure you understand what the word "jihad" really means. I mean, yes, strictly speaking, it can mean any kind of vigorous struggle for an idea or principle, but - well, for me anyway - using that word creates a connotation that the people who are attacking have a religious conviction. I guess what he's getting at is that idea so many christians have about Secularism being a religion and blah blah they're trying to extinguish our rights to practice religion. I don't think these folks understand that they're the ones who are trying to impose their will on others, and the people who are being subjected to it are just trying to say, hey, I don't care what you believe, just don't use my tax dollars to pay for a nativity scene at the town hall. I guess that is the problem with "knowing" your faith is the right one: you just can't understand why people won't just see it your way. I started reading at a bookstore (I want to pick up a copy and finish it) this book called "Letter to a Christian Nation," by Sam Harris, and at one point he said something that pretty much sums up my thoughts on the matter; basically what he said was, (he's talking to a Christian here) understand that the way you feel about how wrong Muslims and Jews and whoever else are about religion and God, that's the way I view your beliefs. That's the thing, is religious zealots who think they've got it right, I think, a lot of times just think that people really do secretly believe what they believe, but choose to ignore it. When in fact, no, there's some real holes in your argument.
Anyway, I'm not going to go on about this more, I just think it's so strange that christians in some places think they have this right to monopolize the social and economic calendar every December.
That being said. I do like Christmas, as I mentioned before. I think of it as a pagan ritual, more than anything, to kind of ward off the darkness we're being enveloped in, to draw those we care about closer in our hearts, to prepare for the new year. There's a humor writer for the Washington Post named Gene Weingarten, and he was asked how he views Christmas and approached it when his kids were young, since he is culturally Jewish and his wife is not. He said "Christmas is a terrific time and we get a tree and presents and mom makes soup and stuff! Yay, Christmas!"
I mean, soup! Yeah! I can get behind soup. Let's just not get too pushy if someone doesn't, say, care for soup. I can enjoy my soup just fine, even if someone near me chooses to pass. No problem. I don't need to feel attacked, ya know?
03 December 2006
"varying in subjects" love's labour's lost: v, ii
What kind of sicko gets up at 5:15am when 6:00am would have done just as well? This kid, that's who. Why, I cannot say, except that I just get so anxious that I am not going to wake up in time that I never get to sleep very well at all. It's one trait that I truly can say I wouldn't miss in myself if it suddenly disappeared.
****
Conversation I overheard the other night waiting for a bus:
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #1: I couldn't believe how mad he was! And he was all up in my face, like, yelling about you, and I'm all, Dude, I'm not Jason!
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #2: Yeah he totally lost his shit, man, it was unreal.
Young Aspiring Hippie Woman: Wait, so who was that dude?
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #1: This fucking guy Noah, who's all, like bent out of shape.
Young Aspiring Hippie Woman: What was his deal?
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #2: He's just pissed that I threw a brick through his car back window when I was drunk the other night.
Huh. I just wanted to shake them, but I couldn't bear to get too close; they clearly hadn't showered in days.
****
I never buy US Magazine and then feel good about it. I bought one yesterday and I'm just not sure why. I actually used to read it all the time and derive glee from it, from reading about celebrity mishaps. But a few months ago, there was some smug cover story about a famous couple splitting up (maybe), and suddenly it just wasn't fun for me anymore. Yeah, they're famous, but they're still people, and heartbreak isn't something I should feel gleeful about. So what, someone famous made a poor decision in who they fell in love with -- I know plenty of non-famous people who do that, and I don't express pleasure when it happens to them. It was like a moment of clarity, a weird moment where I realized my worldview had shifted. Why did I buy it yesterday? It was a weird regression, I suddenly felt like I wanted to wallow in someone else's despair for a half hour. But it was a joyless wallowing, and now I feel like I should like, donate a pint of blood or something to make up for it.
Actually, I just donated blood a couple weeks ago. It was my first time donating in a mobile blood center, instead of at a center or in a school gymnasium. In the trailers, they have several cots that are all kind of facing each other, so you end up being able to see the other people who are donating. So I'm sitting on the cot, the technician does her thing, gets me started on the donation, and I sit there placidly making conversation for a few minutes. Meanwhile, this other lady comes in and gets started up. Well, she sits there looking at me with this like glint in her eye, and she's pumping her hand fairly furiously while her donation is going on. After several minutes, she takes a phone call from her son and berates him for not getting his homework done early enough. She hangs up the phone, looks down at her donation sac and then back at me, then goes "Ha! I'm totally beating you!" Uh, wahhh? I didn't realize this was a contest! I didn't realize the object here was to lose as much blood as quickly as possible here! Geez! So, yeah, she did beat me. The technician finishes her up, and she sits down for the minimum number of minutes, refusing the Lorna Dunes (Christ, that's the whole reason for donating! Oreos and cranberry juice!), and then swoops out of the trailer, with a sort of "See ya, suckas" attitude. I guess no one told her that there's no award for quickest donation. It was thoroughly bizarre.
****
Conversation I overheard the other night waiting for a bus:
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #1: I couldn't believe how mad he was! And he was all up in my face, like, yelling about you, and I'm all, Dude, I'm not Jason!
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #2: Yeah he totally lost his shit, man, it was unreal.
Young Aspiring Hippie Woman: Wait, so who was that dude?
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #1: This fucking guy Noah, who's all, like bent out of shape.
Young Aspiring Hippie Woman: What was his deal?
Young Aspiring Hippie Man #2: He's just pissed that I threw a brick through his car back window when I was drunk the other night.
Huh. I just wanted to shake them, but I couldn't bear to get too close; they clearly hadn't showered in days.
****
I never buy US Magazine and then feel good about it. I bought one yesterday and I'm just not sure why. I actually used to read it all the time and derive glee from it, from reading about celebrity mishaps. But a few months ago, there was some smug cover story about a famous couple splitting up (maybe), and suddenly it just wasn't fun for me anymore. Yeah, they're famous, but they're still people, and heartbreak isn't something I should feel gleeful about. So what, someone famous made a poor decision in who they fell in love with -- I know plenty of non-famous people who do that, and I don't express pleasure when it happens to them. It was like a moment of clarity, a weird moment where I realized my worldview had shifted. Why did I buy it yesterday? It was a weird regression, I suddenly felt like I wanted to wallow in someone else's despair for a half hour. But it was a joyless wallowing, and now I feel like I should like, donate a pint of blood or something to make up for it.
Actually, I just donated blood a couple weeks ago. It was my first time donating in a mobile blood center, instead of at a center or in a school gymnasium. In the trailers, they have several cots that are all kind of facing each other, so you end up being able to see the other people who are donating. So I'm sitting on the cot, the technician does her thing, gets me started on the donation, and I sit there placidly making conversation for a few minutes. Meanwhile, this other lady comes in and gets started up. Well, she sits there looking at me with this like glint in her eye, and she's pumping her hand fairly furiously while her donation is going on. After several minutes, she takes a phone call from her son and berates him for not getting his homework done early enough. She hangs up the phone, looks down at her donation sac and then back at me, then goes "Ha! I'm totally beating you!" Uh, wahhh? I didn't realize this was a contest! I didn't realize the object here was to lose as much blood as quickly as possible here! Geez! So, yeah, she did beat me. The technician finishes her up, and she sits down for the minimum number of minutes, refusing the Lorna Dunes (Christ, that's the whole reason for donating! Oreos and cranberry juice!), and then swoops out of the trailer, with a sort of "See ya, suckas" attitude. I guess no one told her that there's no award for quickest donation. It was thoroughly bizarre.
25 September 2006
"thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown" king lear: i, iv
Separated at birth?
You probably recognize the gent on the right as Yul Brenner. On the left, however, you may be scratching your head.
Let me help you out.
Ok ok ok! It's an inexplicably head-shaved Joey Lawrence.
He's appearing on Dancing With The Stars, apparently. I know this only because I was trying to figure out why on earth I kept seeing that Daddy Warbucks-like picture of him everywhere. Now I know. But I don't know why he would choose this look, and it troubles me.
No answers on Wikipedia's entry on him; although, according to them, apparently I am supposed to call him "Joseph" now. I'm not sure he gets it -- if you're a child actor who's grown up, you will be your child actor persona for the rest of your life. Sorry. Even I use the names "Little Opie" and "The Beave" to refer to the actors who played those two characters, despite the fact that I wasn't even born yet when their shows were on tv.
I think my favorite thing on the Wikipedia entry for Joey Lawrence is this line: ..."he played the character Joey Russo, a dim-witted young man who frequently uttered the phrase 'Whoa.'" I don't think this gives the full impact of how utterly dumb that catchphrase, if one can even call it that, was. I worry that future generations won't get it.
You probably recognize the gent on the right as Yul Brenner. On the left, however, you may be scratching your head.
Let me help you out.
Ok ok ok! It's an inexplicably head-shaved Joey Lawrence.
He's appearing on Dancing With The Stars, apparently. I know this only because I was trying to figure out why on earth I kept seeing that Daddy Warbucks-like picture of him everywhere. Now I know. But I don't know why he would choose this look, and it troubles me.
No answers on Wikipedia's entry on him; although, according to them, apparently I am supposed to call him "Joseph" now. I'm not sure he gets it -- if you're a child actor who's grown up, you will be your child actor persona for the rest of your life. Sorry. Even I use the names "Little Opie" and "The Beave" to refer to the actors who played those two characters, despite the fact that I wasn't even born yet when their shows were on tv.
I think my favorite thing on the Wikipedia entry for Joey Lawrence is this line: ..."he played the character Joey Russo, a dim-witted young man who frequently uttered the phrase 'Whoa.'" I don't think this gives the full impact of how utterly dumb that catchphrase, if one can even call it that, was. I worry that future generations won't get it.
24 September 2006
"fortune's cat" all's well that ends well: v, ii
So I'm catching up on my world news a little, reading some of Ye Olde BBC Worlde Newes, which I do from time to time to see how those in other parts of the world view us, and I stumbled upong this: US Hypoallergenic Cats Go on Sale. A snippet:
So, let me get this straight. They can't make a saran wrap that actually sticks to any kind of container's lip or that doesn't unwind from its cardboard tube without unravelling unevenly and ripping, but they can selectively breed a cat that won't make someone's allergies flare up? So, they're saying that they can't, say, oh, I don't know ... find a cure for cancer (just brainstorming here), but they can make specially formulated cats?
I'm not the only one who finds this to be an astonishing misuse of funds, right?
And please, tell me I'm not the only one to be astounded that there is an actual waiting list of people ready to pay more than the in-state admission costs for some state schools for one of these cats?
Not to mention the whole can of worms this opens up. Just think: in as little as 15 years from now, they could have "selectively bred" a whole army of super cats, cats whose genes predispose them to attacking humans, pillaging PetCos, and ultimately conquering humans and subjecting us to an all Yarn-Based entertainment industry. The Horror! I mean, I'm a cat person and all, but, people -- where does the madness end?!
US biotech firm Allerca says it has managed to selectively breed [the world's first specially-bred hypoallergenic cats ] by reducing a certain type of protein that triggers allergic reactions.
The cats will not cause the red eyes, sneezing and even asthma that some cat allergy sufferers experience, except in the most acute cases.
Despite costing $3,950 (£2,104), there is already a waiting list to get one.
So, let me get this straight. They can't make a saran wrap that actually sticks to any kind of container's lip or that doesn't unwind from its cardboard tube without unravelling unevenly and ripping, but they can selectively breed a cat that won't make someone's allergies flare up? So, they're saying that they can't, say, oh, I don't know ... find a cure for cancer (just brainstorming here), but they can make specially formulated cats?
I'm not the only one who finds this to be an astonishing misuse of funds, right?
And please, tell me I'm not the only one to be astounded that there is an actual waiting list of people ready to pay more than the in-state admission costs for some state schools for one of these cats?
Not to mention the whole can of worms this opens up. Just think: in as little as 15 years from now, they could have "selectively bred" a whole army of super cats, cats whose genes predispose them to attacking humans, pillaging PetCos, and ultimately conquering humans and subjecting us to an all Yarn-Based entertainment industry. The Horror! I mean, I'm a cat person and all, but, people -- where does the madness end?!
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