"i have no words" macbeth: v, viii

So, a couple things to get to here. Katie Schwartz asked if I would be posting my thoughts on ye ol' GW's most recent, you know, thing. His speech about his plans for the Iraq situation. Well, I wasn't going to say anything at first, because as you may know, I don't have a TV and I try not to read too many direct quotes from the President because it upsets me too much. I try to glean the basics by reading a variety of news sources, and stay away from actually hearing or reading anything that comes out of GW's mouth. But, upon reflection, I decided this is a kind of pivitol thing, and I really ought to go back and read his speech from Wednesday.

I have to say, I'm left feeling more baffled than ever. I wish the President was right - I wish that sending more troops over and "clearing" areas of terrorists and then "securing" those areas would do the trick, and then everyone could come home and we could be whole as a country. But how long can this truly go on? There's no timeline, even if we're being told that it's a temporary situation. And even if we do succeed in Iraq, there will be another confrontation that comes up after it, and another after that -- there's always going to be people out there wanting to create chaos, because it benefits them. I don't have a coherent alternative plan to what's being proposed ... leaving now will cause chaos too. It just sucks. I wish I had a more vehement opinion, but the fact is I am just bewildered at the state of things, and I honestly sometimes wonder what will become of us, all of us, as a species. Often the answer is "Nothing good." It sounds fucking depressing, and it is, and so I honestly don't know what else to say. There was I time when I would have gone on some kind of tirade, but why? I don't really know what I'm talking about. I just know I fear for the future, and often wonder just how much future we really have.

Sorry to be a downer. I'm not like this all the time, truly. But, Katie, just FYI, this is why I usually don't get into this stuff. It's too fucking depressing, and I don't know what I'm talking about most of the time.

* * *
Onward. Day to day life goes on. And in that vein, just thought I'd put it out there that my favorite person, V., has a new post up on Six Sentences. It's great, so please check it out.

Finally, again, Katie has tagged me on another meme. "The 10 things about meemish that I really don't want to tell you but will because I'm a freak." So here goes.


1. I love karaoke. Anytime someone suggests it, I am down. I'm not great, but I'm not terrible either -- it just is such a blast to get up there and tear it up with "The Humpty Dance."

2. I enjoy artificial flavors. They're a guilty pleasure. There are times when I love nothing more than "cherry" Jello.

3. I still hate to eat my vegetables. Vegetables just don't taste good to me, I'm sorry. I do it, but I hate it.

4. However, I love artichoke and asparagus. They're practically meat-like flavors anyway.

5. I once worked for a medical publishing company. One of the journals that premiered during my time there was a dermatology journal, and the cover on the premiere issue featured a photo of a baby's butt that had a gaping lesion on it. It was a fun job. (bleh). (The story has a happy ending, though - apparently this is not a totally uncommon disorder, and pretty much just keeping it clean allows it to clear itself up. On the inside, there was a photo of the baby like 2 months later, lesion free. Awwwww.)

6. I am the messiest nearly-30-person I know. My house is a shambles, pretty much consistently. I don't even know how it happens. Things just never seem to have a place. And I don't even have that much stuff anymore.

7. I'm still kind of afraid of the dark. Mostly I just don't like the lack of knowledge of what is surrounding me, especially my feet, for some reason.

8. I kind of like the way Red Bull tastes, by itself.

9. If there is something that might be cause for worry, I'll worry about it. "ooh, I mispronounced that guy's name last night, shit, what must he think of me??" It's really stupid.

10. My browser home page is U2.com.

"help me to a candle, and pen, ink and paper" twelfth night: iv, ii

Howdy, folks, and welcome all newcomers to the latest stop on the Amy Guth Chanukah blog tour.

For those who have been living under a rock this year, Amy is the author of Three Fallen Women. This is her:

(She gave me an official “author picture” to use but I am using this one instead because I feel like it better portrays her sticking-it-to-the-man-ness.)


By way of introduction to those who are just joining us (since my regular readership is maybe 6 people – hi Mom and Dad), let me just say that in fact I am not Jewish, not even a little bit. However, I will without regret reveal right now that I handed down a massive ass whooping to Ms. Guth last Chanukah when it came time to play dreidel, and I have been richly rewarded with this place on the blog tour.


Now, with introductions out of the way and with no further ado: onto the blog tour survey (or meme, as we’re apparently now calling them):

1. Quick! You must turn a plate of latkes into an upscale gourmet delight (as if they aren't already?). What would you add to them to dress them up, flavor and/or garnish them?

Hmmm. I feel like I ought to add some kind of Eye-talian flair here what with my own heritage and all. So here’s what we do. Grate some parmesan cheese and add that into the latke batter before frying them. Then, roasted eggplant and roasted garlic pureed with a bit of olive oil; put a dollop of that on each latke, then garnish with some fresh chopped basil. Sounds good to me.

2. What is the dumbest thing you've ever heard anyone say about Chanukah?

Oh, man, I said the dumbest thing I can think of. It’s not strictly about Chanukah but I think when you read the story you’ll see that it qualifies in the spirit of the question. I really struggled with whether I should even reveal this or just make something up or go with a second best, but I started feeling like I needed to get it off my chest. Actually one of my readers may even remember this interchange, since he was one of the people I said it to, but hopefully he doesn’t remember it, because that will mean that it wasn’t as big a deal as I felt like it was. Let me also just preface this by saying that I said this 11 years ago when I was a freshman in college. I was a kid, a kid I tell ya.

So it’s early December, my first semester away from home, I’m looking forward to getting through exams and going back home for the holidays and the new year. A friend downstairs just invited me down to her dorm room to watch the "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" special on tv with a bunch of other people. Excited, I head downstairs. I pass by the lounge and see a small group of people sitting and talking. I know most of them, and I’m excited like a little kid about the tv special (which, I swear, I really just thought of as seasonal at the time; my upbringing and leanings were so non-religious that I sometimes didn’t even think about the christian-ness of Christmas, more just as a time of light and traditions), so I stop for a second and say to the group at large “Hey guys, are you coming over to watch the Rudolph special?” The whole group looks at me, kind of dumbfounded, and I can’t figure out why, until one of the girls finally just says “This is the Jewish Students’ Association meeting.”

Aw-kward moment. Oh, man, what an ASSHOLE! Oh, man, I felt like melting into the floor; what a fucking idiot. I tell you what though, it taught me a valuable lesson about how making an assumption can make an ass out of “u” and “mption.” Christ, I’m blushing even as I write this. Onward we roll.

3. What's the best possible use for olive oil?

Best possible?? Wow, that is a hard question. There are so many excellent uses. I’m going to go with sautéing garlic to be tossed with pasta and parmesan cheese. I’ve lived on that at times.

4. Settle it once and for all. Latkes or hammentaschen? Which do you prefer? What about pitting the winner of that contest against sufganiyot?

Ok, so I actually knew what two of the three of these was without even looking them up. In the first bout, latkes win, because potatoes are a good argument for a loving deity, if you ask me, and frying them in oil just makes them more delicious. I have tried hammentaschen a couple times and been underwhelmed. I found them a little dry and just, as sweets go, not very fulfilling. Actually, at a bakery I worked at in Santa Fe, someone came in wanting to know if we could make hammentaschen for Purim. Well, none of the bakers were Jewish (I was the only baker who even knew even a little bit what Purim was and that hammentaschen were the associated pastry), but the owner’s wife was Jewish, and she said she thought she might have a recipe. She brought the recipe in, and we tried to make them, but we couldn’t really get the dough to come together. We ended up making some other kind of similar dough, I think, and then just sort of shaping them approximately right. The owner’s wife was like “These are actually good; real hammentaschen are gross; I didn’t think anyone liked them.” Huh.

As far as sufganiyot go, I had to look them up; I’d never heard of them. They would have had a fighting chance if not for the jelly filling. Ick. Potato pancakes vs. a jelly donut? Winner: Latke.

5. What's the best way to mix up a game of dreidel?

Well, I’ve played dreidel twice in my life; most recently, was the aforementioned time I was the only non-Jewish player, and I WHOOPED ASS. The only other time was when I was a little kid, maybe 6 or 7 years old; for some reason that year we had decided to observe some Chanukah traditions (my folks raised us Unitarian and were all for diversity). My mom had brought home a dreidel and we had very basic instructions on how to play, so she left my sister and I alone with the dreidel and some chocolate coins. The game quickly deteriorated into an argument over which symbol meant what, and then we kind of just abandoned it. Rudolph was probably on tv that night.

6. My novel, Three Fallen Women, shockingly enough, is about the lives of three women. Which three women would you like to have over this year for latkes and why?

I sure would love to be with my sister Jenny and share a nice latke or two; sadly she lives too far for that this year. *Sigh.* Come to think of it, I would also like my mother to join in, as I can’t think of the last time the three of us sat down together and just hung out. Finally, it sounds like I’m sucking up, but Amy Guth would be my third pick; she’s always good for fun times and potato products. Wait what?

7. Other than Three Fallen Women (har har), what book do you think would make a great Chanukah gift this year? What book would you like to receive as a gift this year?

I recently read “In Cold Blood” and really enjoyed it; a gripping read. If I knew someone who hadn’t read it, who could stomach it, I’d get that for them. As for what I would like to receive, well, I have but three words: “U2 by U2”. I’m a dork. What are ya gonna do? Hey, no laughing and pointing or I’ll beat your ass at dreidel, too!!

8. What bloggers didn't participate in Chanukah Blog Tour 5767 and you think should have?

Golly, I have to confess I can’t think of anyone … I’m so out of it in the blogosphere.

Well, anyway, this had been great!! Happy Chanukah everyone; thanks for letting me join in!! (Lesson learned: I did NOT say “thanks for letting me join in your reindeer games!” Progress, not perfection, folks.)

"like a bold champion, i assume the lists" pericles, prince of tyre: i, i II

Do you snore?
I've been told once or twice that I was snoring, but not regularly, no. Apparently I do talk in my sleep. Nothing incriminating, I hope.
Are you a lover or a fighter?
A fighter. I wish I wasn't but I am.
What's your worst fear?
death by fire's a good one. I have so many fears, it's tough to pick my all time fave.
As a kid, were you a Lego Maniac?
Nah. I had Loc-Blocs at one point but never graduated to Legos. I was a big fan of the ol' scotch tape and paper bag type of crafts, not the building stuff.
What do you think of reality tv?
I hate it, and in fact hate almost all tv, which is why I gave it up.
Do you chew on your straws?
Sometimes.
Were you a cute baby?
My parents kept me, so I guess I was cute enough.
Is the single life for you?
No.
What color is your keyboard?
I dunno, it's like colorless. Grey? Generic? That reminds me when Ned Flanders asks his boys what kind of ice cream they want and one of them replies "flavorless!"
Do you sing in the shower?
Sometimes, when the Spirit is upon me.
Have you ever bungee jumped?
Nope. Can't see that happening.
Any secret talents?
Not any I'm willing to reveal here.
What's your ideal vacation spot?
The World.
Can you swim?
Yah.
Have you seen the movie Donnie Darko?
Yeah. It was good, but not like, life altering or anything.
Do you give a damn about the ozone?
Yeah I do. The earth will be fine either way, but I think we humans may be fucked.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A-one, a-two, a-thrrrreee!
Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
Why on earth would I know the answer to that? Why would I try? It's in order for a reason! (uh, and that reason is, uh, .... very important, I'm sure!)
Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpener?
I like the little ones that you just twist around the end of the pencil. Actually, I try to use mechanical pencils whenever I can.
What's your stand on hunting?
Wouldn't do it, don't mind if others do do it, if it's with respect and care for the animal and its environment.
Is marriage in your future?
Was this meme written by a 16 year old?
Do you like your handwriting?
No, my handwriting is an embarrassment.
What are you allergic to?
Nothing that I am aware of.
When was the last time you said, I love you?
About twenty minutes ago when I said good night to my dad.
Do you cry at weddings?
If I really know and like the participants, yes, but not just as a general rule.
How do you like your eggs?
I'll eat an omelet under great duress.
Are blondes dumb?
Some are. Some aren't. It's not a guy's fault if he's born with blonde hair, I won't hold it against him.
Where does the other sock end up?
Heh.
What time is it?
"A-four-thirty! It's not late - nah, nah! It's just early, early, early!" (the spin doctors.)
Do you have a nickname?
Not that anyone calls me in polite company. Oh, I used to be called Angry Nicky. I've chilled out some, though. I actually told someone I work with that I used to be called that and he flat-out called me a liar, he didn't believe me. So I punched him.
Is McDonalds disgusting?
Yeah. The fries are tempting but I try to avoid them; I never eat them and then think "yeah, I'm glad I ate that."
When was the last time you were in a car?
Like twenty minutes ago.
Do you prefer baths or showers?
Whatever, as long as the water is nice and hot, I get can get comfortable either way.
Is Santa Claus real?
Yes, Virginia.
Do you like to have your neck kissed?
Do I!
Are you afraid of the dark?
I must confess that I really still am.
What are you addicted to?
Caffeine.
Crunchy or creamy peanut butter?
Creamy. What, do you think I'm a communist??
Can you crack your neck?
No. That's gross.
Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
No, thank goodness.
Is drug free the way to be?
For me it is. For you? Do whatever, I don't give a shit. (Unless you're my downstairs neighbor. Dude. Get help.)
Are you a heavy sleeper?
Yeah. More than anything, I'm a fast sleeper, in the sense that when I lay down, I rarely have to wait long before I am in a deep and dreamless sleep. That is one of the nice things about doing physical labor all day.
What color are your eyes?
brown-ish whatever.
Do you like your life?
Most of the time. Could use improvements in places, but all in all I have it pretty darn good.
Are you psychic?
Sometimes I think I might be a little. I sometimes can totally guess what the next song that comes up on my iPod will be!
Have you read Catcher in the Rye?
Yeah. That's funny I was actually just talking about CITR with my dad tonight.
Do you play any instruments?
I play men's souls like Billy Joel plays the piano.
Have you ever stolen money?
Probably the odd dollar here or there from around the house when I was a kid.
Can you snowboard?
I tried once. I did well for a while but when I got tired I turned into a cranky-pants.
Do you like camping?
Yeah I was practically born in a tent.
Do you snort when you laugh?
No, but I have that annoying kind of hiccup-y sounding laugh. I hate my laugh.
Do you believe in magic?
uh, sure.
Are dogs a man's best friend?
I am not really a dog person but I am sure there are some men for whom their dogs are their best friends.
Do you believe in divorce?
Only if it's with the right person.
Can you do the Moonwalk?
Boy, I wish I could! I WOULD USE THAT!!!!!!!
Do you make a lot of mistakes?
I think I think I make more than I actually make. But, yes. "Everyone makes mistakes," as that wise sage Big Bird once said.
Is it cold outside today?
Chilly. Kind of smells like snow, though I know it's too warm for it.
What was the last thing you ate?
A Magic Bar (hey, yeah, I DO believe in magic!!)
Do you wear nail polish?
Not allowed by health code.
How many people do you like right now?
You mean LIKE-like or just like? Or like, LIKE-like-like?
What's the most annoying tv commercial?
I am blissfully unaware of any tv commercials.
Do you shop at American Eagle?
Dude the sizes there are fucking ridiculous. I think I once saw a size 000 there.
Favorite song at the moment?
I've been really into Guillemots lately. "Made Up Love Song" is excellent.
Who are you tagging?
I'm not. This was a long-ass meme! I don't know anyone who has the same kind of free-time I do! But if you have free time and you want to self-tag, feel free!

"like a bold champion, i assume the lists" pericles, prince of tyre: i, i

Wow, I got "tagged" this week by two bloggers! Exciting world I've entered, this blogosphere. I'd best get on it before the "tagging" starts piling up! (I'm going to keep mostly quiet about the fact that "tagging" someone to make lists seems suspiciously similar to sending out an email poll. I'm just glad to be here!)

First, I was tagged by the "lovely and talented" Amy Guth, author of the fantastic new novel Three Fallen Women, and, as it happens, one of my favorite people.

So this is the "book meme" she tagged me on (the quotes are because I'm just learning all this newfangled terminology):
1 ) One book that changed your life: Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll. The book that taught me to love reading.
2) One book that you'd read more than once: The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger.
3 ) One book you'd want on a deserted island: The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. There's a lot I’ll never get at in there. But that kind of free time might help.
4) One book that made you laugh: High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
5) One book that made you cry: *sigh* I don't cry much for books, but I did just read a play called Indoor/Outdoor by Kenny Finkle, about a cat and her owner, and I have to confess that I was a little teary at the end.
6) One book you wish you'd written: About a Boy, Nick Hornby. A lot of good characters who are all going somewhere in the story.
7) One book you wish had never been written: The Left Behind series.
8) One book you're currently reading: Moab is my Washpot: An autobiography, Stephen Fry
9) One book you've been meaning to read: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer
10) Tag 5 people: Well, I don't know all that many people out there on the blogosphere, but I guess those I tag without blogs could post responses in my comments section. So I tag Like Pollution's V., Rational Leftist's Adam (maybe he'll finally post something, the lazy PhD-seeking slacker), ummm, let's see, oh, Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah is someone whose posts I always enjoy; I'll tag her too ... and, ok, how 'bout my dad, Rob, and my mom, Jan. Maybe they'll comment on my blog for a change!

Ok, so the other "tag" I got was from the very funny Katie Schwartz, whose blog I am a relative newcomer to, but who I so far find quite entertaining. This meme was a little more open ended so I am just going to go with it:

::five things you don't know about me:: [maybe]

1. I know a lot of keystroke shortcuts for MS Word. Ok, ok, a lot of people know that Control-Z is Undo, and Control-A is Select All, etc. But did you know that Control-] will make selected text increase in font size, and Control-[ will make it decrease? Also, Shift-F3 toggles selected text from lowercase to initial capitalized to all caps. Control-K is the shortcut for the “degrees” symbol. (On a Mac, you would use the Apple key instead of Control.) There's more ... so much more. But I'll move on.

2. I can’t keep myself from reading every comic strip in the comics section of a newspaper, no matter how bad it is. There’s text and pictures on the page, I must read it. So once I start reading, even if it’s just to keep up with Get Fuzzy, I have to stick it out all the way through For Better or for Worse, Family Circus, and, yes, even Marmaduke.

3. I confess that I often prefer a mix tape (or, now, playlist) to listening to a series of albums. I mean, there are some albums that just do better as a whole, and I generally listen to them in their entirety; however, as a general rule, I'm much happier keeping a nice variety going. So sue me.

4. I wore sneakers under my wedding dress. No one was the wiser. And my feet were much happier.

5. I read every advice column I can get my hands on: Miss Manners, Dear Abby, Ask Amy, Savage Love, Tell Me About It, heck, I even read Hints from Heloise if I'm reading a paper that carries it! I don't know why. I'm not looking for advice; heck, I rarely accept advice from people I know and love, let alone some stranger! I guess reading other people's problems and an advice columnist's answers is like my version of a soap opera obsession.

So, anyway, I guess that's all from here. I think I'm supposed to tag people on this one too, so how about V. again, and Adam again, my sister Jenny, and how about Carolyn, too.