"the book even of my secret soul" twelfth night: i, iv

So yet again thanks to Katie Schwartz, who pointed me in the direction of The Book Quiz. I took the quiz, and lo and behold, I am my favorite book of all time!!

You're Alice's Adventures in Wonderland!

by Lewis Carroll

After stumbling down the wrong turn in life, you've had your mind opened to a number of strange and curious things. As life grows curiouser and curiouser, you have to ask yourself what's real and what's the picture of illusion. Little is coming to your aid in discerning fantasy from fact, but the line between them is so blurry that it's starting not to matter. Be careful around rabbit holes and those who smile to much, and just avoid hat shops altogether.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I wasn't even "trying" for anything specific, I just answered the questions honestly.

So that was fun.

On another note, today on the bus I overheard the young man next to me berating his baby mama over the phone. She kept hanging up on him, and he would keep calling her back, and if she didn't answer, he would berate her voicemail. Sounded like a custody thing; frankly, a guy who talks the way this guy did ("yeah try that and see how you like winding up in a fucking body bag" -click-) should not have custody of any child. I suppose it's possible that the mom is worse than him, but having listened to him for 15 minutes, I doubt it. So that was a good way to end the work day.

And finally, it seems to me that I got hoodwinked (refer to my previous post). Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel foolish at first, but the fact is that it is just a crying shame that there are enough people out there in this country who actually do think the way that Donnie Davies pretends to think to make me believe so easily in him. The way he looks and talks, and the words he says -- I have seen and heard people who are extremely similar, so it didn't seem like a parody to me. And since he's not really doing anything hyperbolic, since people really do think this way, it's not a very good satire, in my opinion. And I swear it's not just sour grapes -- I just don't find the subject matter to have been dealt with very cleverly. The only clever thing about it is the verisimilitude of the character.

Ok that's all I got for now.

"help me to a candle, and pen, ink and paper" twelfth night: iv, ii

Howdy, folks, and welcome all newcomers to the latest stop on the Amy Guth Chanukah blog tour.

For those who have been living under a rock this year, Amy is the author of Three Fallen Women. This is her:

(She gave me an official “author picture” to use but I am using this one instead because I feel like it better portrays her sticking-it-to-the-man-ness.)


By way of introduction to those who are just joining us (since my regular readership is maybe 6 people – hi Mom and Dad), let me just say that in fact I am not Jewish, not even a little bit. However, I will without regret reveal right now that I handed down a massive ass whooping to Ms. Guth last Chanukah when it came time to play dreidel, and I have been richly rewarded with this place on the blog tour.


Now, with introductions out of the way and with no further ado: onto the blog tour survey (or meme, as we’re apparently now calling them):

1. Quick! You must turn a plate of latkes into an upscale gourmet delight (as if they aren't already?). What would you add to them to dress them up, flavor and/or garnish them?

Hmmm. I feel like I ought to add some kind of Eye-talian flair here what with my own heritage and all. So here’s what we do. Grate some parmesan cheese and add that into the latke batter before frying them. Then, roasted eggplant and roasted garlic pureed with a bit of olive oil; put a dollop of that on each latke, then garnish with some fresh chopped basil. Sounds good to me.

2. What is the dumbest thing you've ever heard anyone say about Chanukah?

Oh, man, I said the dumbest thing I can think of. It’s not strictly about Chanukah but I think when you read the story you’ll see that it qualifies in the spirit of the question. I really struggled with whether I should even reveal this or just make something up or go with a second best, but I started feeling like I needed to get it off my chest. Actually one of my readers may even remember this interchange, since he was one of the people I said it to, but hopefully he doesn’t remember it, because that will mean that it wasn’t as big a deal as I felt like it was. Let me also just preface this by saying that I said this 11 years ago when I was a freshman in college. I was a kid, a kid I tell ya.

So it’s early December, my first semester away from home, I’m looking forward to getting through exams and going back home for the holidays and the new year. A friend downstairs just invited me down to her dorm room to watch the "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" special on tv with a bunch of other people. Excited, I head downstairs. I pass by the lounge and see a small group of people sitting and talking. I know most of them, and I’m excited like a little kid about the tv special (which, I swear, I really just thought of as seasonal at the time; my upbringing and leanings were so non-religious that I sometimes didn’t even think about the christian-ness of Christmas, more just as a time of light and traditions), so I stop for a second and say to the group at large “Hey guys, are you coming over to watch the Rudolph special?” The whole group looks at me, kind of dumbfounded, and I can’t figure out why, until one of the girls finally just says “This is the Jewish Students’ Association meeting.”

Aw-kward moment. Oh, man, what an ASSHOLE! Oh, man, I felt like melting into the floor; what a fucking idiot. I tell you what though, it taught me a valuable lesson about how making an assumption can make an ass out of “u” and “mption.” Christ, I’m blushing even as I write this. Onward we roll.

3. What's the best possible use for olive oil?

Best possible?? Wow, that is a hard question. There are so many excellent uses. I’m going to go with sautéing garlic to be tossed with pasta and parmesan cheese. I’ve lived on that at times.

4. Settle it once and for all. Latkes or hammentaschen? Which do you prefer? What about pitting the winner of that contest against sufganiyot?

Ok, so I actually knew what two of the three of these was without even looking them up. In the first bout, latkes win, because potatoes are a good argument for a loving deity, if you ask me, and frying them in oil just makes them more delicious. I have tried hammentaschen a couple times and been underwhelmed. I found them a little dry and just, as sweets go, not very fulfilling. Actually, at a bakery I worked at in Santa Fe, someone came in wanting to know if we could make hammentaschen for Purim. Well, none of the bakers were Jewish (I was the only baker who even knew even a little bit what Purim was and that hammentaschen were the associated pastry), but the owner’s wife was Jewish, and she said she thought she might have a recipe. She brought the recipe in, and we tried to make them, but we couldn’t really get the dough to come together. We ended up making some other kind of similar dough, I think, and then just sort of shaping them approximately right. The owner’s wife was like “These are actually good; real hammentaschen are gross; I didn’t think anyone liked them.” Huh.

As far as sufganiyot go, I had to look them up; I’d never heard of them. They would have had a fighting chance if not for the jelly filling. Ick. Potato pancakes vs. a jelly donut? Winner: Latke.

5. What's the best way to mix up a game of dreidel?

Well, I’ve played dreidel twice in my life; most recently, was the aforementioned time I was the only non-Jewish player, and I WHOOPED ASS. The only other time was when I was a little kid, maybe 6 or 7 years old; for some reason that year we had decided to observe some Chanukah traditions (my folks raised us Unitarian and were all for diversity). My mom had brought home a dreidel and we had very basic instructions on how to play, so she left my sister and I alone with the dreidel and some chocolate coins. The game quickly deteriorated into an argument over which symbol meant what, and then we kind of just abandoned it. Rudolph was probably on tv that night.

6. My novel, Three Fallen Women, shockingly enough, is about the lives of three women. Which three women would you like to have over this year for latkes and why?

I sure would love to be with my sister Jenny and share a nice latke or two; sadly she lives too far for that this year. *Sigh.* Come to think of it, I would also like my mother to join in, as I can’t think of the last time the three of us sat down together and just hung out. Finally, it sounds like I’m sucking up, but Amy Guth would be my third pick; she’s always good for fun times and potato products. Wait what?

7. Other than Three Fallen Women (har har), what book do you think would make a great Chanukah gift this year? What book would you like to receive as a gift this year?

I recently read “In Cold Blood” and really enjoyed it; a gripping read. If I knew someone who hadn’t read it, who could stomach it, I’d get that for them. As for what I would like to receive, well, I have but three words: “U2 by U2”. I’m a dork. What are ya gonna do? Hey, no laughing and pointing or I’ll beat your ass at dreidel, too!!

8. What bloggers didn't participate in Chanukah Blog Tour 5767 and you think should have?

Golly, I have to confess I can’t think of anyone … I’m so out of it in the blogosphere.

Well, anyway, this had been great!! Happy Chanukah everyone; thanks for letting me join in!! (Lesson learned: I did NOT say “thanks for letting me join in your reindeer games!” Progress, not perfection, folks.)

"ruffians dance and leap" king richard ii: ii, iv

For whatever reason, this scene was in my head ALL DAY LONG.

Was there anything better than David Bowie in this movie? I kind of wished I was as cool as him when I saw this movie as a kid. These days this movie comes to mind whenever I'm having a bad day or someone is pissing me off. In mind, I just say "You have no power over me!" It's actually remarkably effective. I recommend it.

---
In other news, if you're a local reader of this blog, which, if you are, I am probably related to you, but if you are, just a note that on Thursday at 6pm, author/friend of mine Amy Guth will be reading from her book Three Fallen Women at Symposium Bookstore on Westminister St. You should check it out because it is sure to be a rockin' good time.

And, PS, Adam, it has as of this moment, NOT been 2 weeks since my last post; it has been a mere 12 days. So, mweh.

"like a bold champion, i assume the lists" pericles, prince of tyre: i, i

Wow, I got "tagged" this week by two bloggers! Exciting world I've entered, this blogosphere. I'd best get on it before the "tagging" starts piling up! (I'm going to keep mostly quiet about the fact that "tagging" someone to make lists seems suspiciously similar to sending out an email poll. I'm just glad to be here!)

First, I was tagged by the "lovely and talented" Amy Guth, author of the fantastic new novel Three Fallen Women, and, as it happens, one of my favorite people.

So this is the "book meme" she tagged me on (the quotes are because I'm just learning all this newfangled terminology):
1 ) One book that changed your life: Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll. The book that taught me to love reading.
2) One book that you'd read more than once: The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger.
3 ) One book you'd want on a deserted island: The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. There's a lot I’ll never get at in there. But that kind of free time might help.
4) One book that made you laugh: High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
5) One book that made you cry: *sigh* I don't cry much for books, but I did just read a play called Indoor/Outdoor by Kenny Finkle, about a cat and her owner, and I have to confess that I was a little teary at the end.
6) One book you wish you'd written: About a Boy, Nick Hornby. A lot of good characters who are all going somewhere in the story.
7) One book you wish had never been written: The Left Behind series.
8) One book you're currently reading: Moab is my Washpot: An autobiography, Stephen Fry
9) One book you've been meaning to read: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer
10) Tag 5 people: Well, I don't know all that many people out there on the blogosphere, but I guess those I tag without blogs could post responses in my comments section. So I tag Like Pollution's V., Rational Leftist's Adam (maybe he'll finally post something, the lazy PhD-seeking slacker), ummm, let's see, oh, Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah is someone whose posts I always enjoy; I'll tag her too ... and, ok, how 'bout my dad, Rob, and my mom, Jan. Maybe they'll comment on my blog for a change!

Ok, so the other "tag" I got was from the very funny Katie Schwartz, whose blog I am a relative newcomer to, but who I so far find quite entertaining. This meme was a little more open ended so I am just going to go with it:

::five things you don't know about me:: [maybe]

1. I know a lot of keystroke shortcuts for MS Word. Ok, ok, a lot of people know that Control-Z is Undo, and Control-A is Select All, etc. But did you know that Control-] will make selected text increase in font size, and Control-[ will make it decrease? Also, Shift-F3 toggles selected text from lowercase to initial capitalized to all caps. Control-K is the shortcut for the “degrees” symbol. (On a Mac, you would use the Apple key instead of Control.) There's more ... so much more. But I'll move on.

2. I can’t keep myself from reading every comic strip in the comics section of a newspaper, no matter how bad it is. There’s text and pictures on the page, I must read it. So once I start reading, even if it’s just to keep up with Get Fuzzy, I have to stick it out all the way through For Better or for Worse, Family Circus, and, yes, even Marmaduke.

3. I confess that I often prefer a mix tape (or, now, playlist) to listening to a series of albums. I mean, there are some albums that just do better as a whole, and I generally listen to them in their entirety; however, as a general rule, I'm much happier keeping a nice variety going. So sue me.

4. I wore sneakers under my wedding dress. No one was the wiser. And my feet were much happier.

5. I read every advice column I can get my hands on: Miss Manners, Dear Abby, Ask Amy, Savage Love, Tell Me About It, heck, I even read Hints from Heloise if I'm reading a paper that carries it! I don't know why. I'm not looking for advice; heck, I rarely accept advice from people I know and love, let alone some stranger! I guess reading other people's problems and an advice columnist's answers is like my version of a soap opera obsession.

So, anyway, I guess that's all from here. I think I'm supposed to tag people on this one too, so how about V. again, and Adam again, my sister Jenny, and how about Carolyn, too.

"but what care i for words?" as you like it: iii; v

I say I'm a recovering English major in my profile, but it's not entirely accurate. More correct would be to say that I'm an English major who's found her calling not to be in reading and writing English, but who still harbors a crush on it as a hobby. I get a kick out of the written word; it's pretty astonishing to think how language has developed and evolved and devolved. I try to be observant of language patterns in our changing culture, and so I read a lot of different, and in some cases, crappy, literature and media. Along the way, I often pick up amusing anecdotes that have not so much to do with language, but more about how absurd life can be.

Like this.

If, like our president, you're not what we call a "reader", here's the Reader's Digest: A British biographer named A.N. Wilson wrote a biography of the British poet John Betjeman, who had, apparently, stated late in his life that he wished he had had more sex. He was married and it was assumed his sex life was dull. Well, the biographer received a letter that supposedly revealed an extramarital affair between Betjeman and another writer; it was apparently a love letter from him, and Wilson printed the letter in the biography saying there had been this affair. Ok, here's the thing: it was a hoax. The letter was a fake, and not only that, but encoded in one section of the letter, using the first letter of each word, was the sentence "A.N. Wilson is a shit." Nice!!!! But ok, here's the other thing: the letter came from an unknown correspondent using a French return address, but the letter was postmarked in London.

Now, I'm not a fancy-schmancy biographer or anything, so maybe I'm overthinking things, but it seems to me that before actually publishing a letter received from an unknown person in a book about someone else, one might take care to research the contents of that letter, and perhaps check other sources to corroborate, or, at the very least, cast some degree of authenticity on the whole matter.

What's worst about the whole thing, for this dumb-ass biographer, is that it seems that he was informed of the hoax by the Sunday London Times, who pointed out the nasty encoded message to him, and he was left lamely saying "I should have smelled a rat." Smelled a rat? No, good sir, it is not that you should have smelled a rat, it is that you should have simply done your job.

* * *

Well, I am trying to finish up a book about Shakespeare, so I'll close for now. Shakespeare: now there's a guy who liked to play with words. If he didn't find a word he liked for what he was trying to express, he just made one up! And a lot of them stuck! To name a few: impartial, jaded, gloomy, premeditated, frugal, and zany. I find that to be ... well .... transtounding.